Say that famous phrase to Will and you'll get no response.
Because–somehow–Santa's grandson has never seen A Christmas Story.
Our discovery of this lapse in Will's education came early last year. Wayne, our Games Director, was planning a trip to Cleveland to view the latest plush offerings.
"Say hi to Ralphie!" I chirped.
Lots of grins around the conference table. Nearly everyone knew that portions of the movie involving Ralphie's house were shot in Cleveland. In fact, a museum had just opened in the house used for the exterior shots.
But not Will. His brow furrowed.
The room erupted.
You know: "You'll shoot your eye out!"
"Randy lay there like a slug; it was his only defense."
The Red Ryder BB gun.
"The Bumpus hounds!"
You'll get worms!
"The leg lamp! A major award!"
It was, well, mayhem.
Will went from looking confused to almost worried. He waited for the room to calm before asking:
"What are you talking about?"
Once again, everyone spoke at once. Only this time it was louder. As if shouting, "You know — A Christmas Story!" would somehow reach that portion of his brain that held forgotten memories.
Will shook his head, dazed. We moved on.
The next day, I brought in my family's DVD of the movie. I was certain when he saw Ralphie's round face he'd know what we were all talking about.
I offered to let Will borrow our copy. Heck, he could keep it. Merry Christmas.
I checked this morning. Will still hasn't watched it.
His emailed response to my query: Unfortunately, I haven't watched it yet (sorry about not returning it). I guess I could be convinced to watch it given the appropriate pressure.
And so, dear readers, I turn to you. Surely one of you has the words of persuasion I somehow lack. Would you take a moment or two to post a comment for Will to read that might somehow convince him viewing A Christmas Story will right a terrible wrong?
Come on, give it a try.
I triple-dog dare you.