Our nation heaved a collective sigh last fall when word spread that Twinkies were going the way of the dinosaur.
Some were relieved to have one less sugary temptation, while others' disappointment knew no bounds.
But this is America and it wasn't long before a plan was hatched to bring them back. To bring them back on Monday, July 15.
And so shall we:
Yes, indeed. Deep-fried Twinkies with confectioner's sugar and a drizzle of raspberry sauce will be served at the Funnel Cake Factory (in 4th of July) starting Monday afternoon.
But first, we have to celebrate with a mouth-watering contest.
On Monday, plan on stopping by the Hoosier Celebration Theater (conveniently located across the walkway from the Funnel Cake Factory) to witness – or even participate in – our TwinkieMania Contest.
In a nutshell (or, should I saw, a Twinkie wrapper), four contestants at a time will be each given three deep-fried Twinkies to gobble down in 60 seconds. Whoever finishes all three of their confections first (or whoever consumes the most in the 60 seconds) receives a round of applause and our undying admiration. Oh, and a $10 HoliCash gift card.
We plan to have five rounds of gluttony … er, sweet fun … during the half hour. If you'd like to sign up to be a contestant, please stop by the theater any time after 12:30pm CDT this Monday and fill out a very brief entry form.
As we've pulled all sorts of strings to get our Twinkie supply here early Monday morning (it hasn't been easy), the only quote I could ever remember from the Lord of the Rings movie has been banging around in my brain: Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys …
Hobbits, after all, are sort of like Santa's Elves, aren't they?
And so perhaps it's not too big of a stretch to proclaim: Looks like Twinkie's back on the menu, boys …