Say that famous phrase to Will and you'll get no response.

Because–somehow–Santa's grandson has never seen A Christmas Story.

WWRD?

Our discovery of this lapse in Will's education came early last year. Wayne, our Games Director, was planning a trip to Cleveland to view the latest plush offerings.

"Say hi to Ralphie!" I chirped.

Lots of grins around the conference table. Nearly everyone knew that portions of the movie involving Ralphie's house were shot in Cleveland. In fact, a museum had just opened in the house used for the exterior shots.

But not Will. His brow furrowed.

"Who's Ralphie?"

The room erupted.

You know: "You'll shoot your eye out!"

"Randy lay there like a slug; it was his only defense."

The Red Ryder BB gun.

"The Bumpus hounds!"

You'll get worms!

"The leg lamp! A major award!"

It was, well, mayhem.

Will went from looking confused to almost worried. He waited for the room to calm before asking:

"What are you talking about?"

Once again, everyone spoke at once. Only this time it was louder. As if shouting, "You know — A Christmas Story!" would somehow reach that portion of his brain that held forgotten memories.

Will shook his head, dazed. We moved on.

The next day, I brought in my family's DVD of the movie. I was certain when he saw Ralphie's round face he'd know what we were all talking about.

Nope.

I offered to let Will borrow our copy. Heck, he could keep it. Merry Christmas.

I checked this morning. Will still hasn't watched it.

His emailed response to my query: Unfortunately, I haven't watched it yet (sorry about not returning it). I guess I could be convinced to watch it given the appropriate pressure.

And so, dear readers, I turn to you. Surely one of you has the words of persuasion I somehow lack. Would you take a moment or two to post a comment for Will to read that might somehow convince him viewing A Christmas Story will right a terrible wrong?

Come on, give it a try.

I triple-dog dare you.